Friday, April 29, 2011

'till we meet again, dear Krystal

With the events in our family in the past month, I have thought about how I wanted to rehash the details. I do like to think of this blog as my journal, so I wanted to give a play by play about what Jed and I and many of the other Alvey's did after Krystal's passing.

But I think I can speak for everyone involved when I say- I don't want to relive that all again- either reading it or writing it. I decided I wanted to focus on the positive.

I really needed to get together as a family. On Friday morning, Kate called me- and told me that Krystal had died. Looking back- the conversation took forever, and all I remember saying was that I loved Kate, and that I would be willing to help in any way-- and even now, that seems so shallow. Not that I could have said anything to make Kate feel better, but I wish I could have said something that did.

Then, I called Jed- and he was barely able to speak. He got the call from his mom right before he was supposed to give his final presentation for Capstone- which he had been the captain of and had worked on for 2 semesters-- but his team was so supportive through everything. He was on his way home from school, and I waited impatiently at the front door. I saw him about 1/2 block down and saw that he was crying. Never before had my heart hurt more. I opened the front door, and gave him a hug. Still- I couldn't find any words to help the situation. We sat down and both cried together. It was a very tender moment, we both just ached. Looking back on that day- I am grateful for my knowledge of the plan of happiness- and for Jed. For every awkward thing I said- it was somehow able to help both of us.

Throughout the next week- we were busy. We had to help plan the memorial, practice singing, pick out flowers etc. It was very emotional- unimaginably exhausting.  But, I am so grateful for the Alvey's.  I'm grateful for the chance to reminisce about Krystal and the beautiful life she lead. I'm grateful to feel like I got to know Krystal on a deeper level- after hearing everybody's memories. And I'm grateful for the time that I got to know the Alvey family better. We laughed and cried together, sat up late at night with Parker together, and I know that we are stronger as a family because of it.

I didn't personally have the chance to know Krystal for very long. But every memory I have of her is sweet and precious to me. She welcomed me into the family with open arms. She made me feel apart of the family from day one. I realized even more so these past few weeks just how much Krystal and I have in common. We have a lot of the same interests, and similar struggles. When we got to stay with her and her family in Boise for a few days- she let me do her girls hair, which was so fun for me.  We chatted a lot, and I got to see her more silly side. Though Krystal is no longer on this world with us, Jed and I promised ourselves to do our best to help our children know her.  We love you Krystal- families can be forever.

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